I've received confirmation of my internship after feeling a little afraid that it might not be real. I had not heard from my "supervisor" for several months and when I attempted to contact him by email and by phone, I wasn't getting a response. I did, however, finally make contact with my supervisor's supervisor and so am happy to have the Herald to still go to once I'm in Calgary. After much deliberation, I've decided to forgo my application to the Ogilvy and Mather internship program for the summer. It is in NYC and though it would be a great opportunity, it's financially impossible and it really doesn't work within the plan of what is to happen once Milly and I graduate. Milly would be unable to live alone (too expensive) in Calgary and so she'd have to forgo her career out west because of me.
I think I just need to trust God a little more about the future and about what will happen once my internship at the Herald is completed. Colleen and I will be doing some job hunting for me while I'm there too. Being a control Nazi is no easy thing to toss aside, let me tell you!
I had a job interview last week for a part-time Mac Production Artist. The job is about 20 minutes from where I live so the distance is great and the hours are fairly flexible. No more driving to TO for retail - wouldn't that be great. I hear tomorrow or Wednesday. Having the interview was good because it helped me to recognize my interest in this area of the journalism world. The writing - yah, it's OK. I could do it and I won't be too disappointed but I love sitting in front of the computer working in InDesign or Quark and doing layout. It satisfies the perfectionist and the organizational freak in me!
Work is going well and school is enjoyable. I'm reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass for a class and am liking it better than I first imagined I would. Children's Lit is not my cup of tea - I'd much rather read something that's a little deeper and a little more profound. That's not to say that Lewis is not as deep as they come - he is and I'm enjoying what I think is some social commentary - at least that's what all the experts say!
I've also just begun another of Spurgeon's sermons - Love's Logic and hope to complete that tonight. Bath Road Baptist Church in Kingston prints free copies of Spurgeon's sermons. It's a great ministry for me because they are manageable, rather than working my way through a book or even finding time to go to Sola Scriptura to buy a book.
It's been snowing so much lately and I love it outside. I was very worried earlier in the winter because we were experiencing record temperatures (warm) and we didn't have any snow for Christmas. It's blustery and cold today and it's snowing for possibly the tenth day in a row. I'm finding it difficult to continue to wait for Calgary to go snowboarding - at this snow fall rate, even Glen Eden would be a good place to go!
I'm not running as much as I'd like to be but am hoping to make this week a week of change. A strict diet has posed some challenges, particularly when there are squares make with condensed milk in the house, but it's helped my skin, my digestion, and my general well-being.
The roster has changed at school so right now I've got Mondays off - excellent for catching up on blogging, emails, reading and of course, some homework.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
New Year's Resolution - Content in Christ
It's January 1st and I've just returned from the New Year's Eve party at the Nickels. We had a lot of fun again this year - ping pong, lots of food, jokes about kegs and thinking of all the different ways to say you're drunk...
I really wanted to write a post at the end of December that was just a little bit of a glance back at the lessons of this year and a record of some of the memorable moments too.
One lesson I've had to learn most of this year is the lesson of when to "arouse or awaken love." I have wanted, for most of 2006, to find someone to spend my life with. I thought that, perhaps, I'd found that person earlier this year but K did not work out as planned - and I think that is the key word - planned. From the first moment, I decided that it was what I wanted and I really did not seek God's counsel or his will. The tricky thing was that K seemed to be someone God would want me to be with but I am very thankful that things did not work out. The first reason being that I realised that K was not interested in having a relationship or actually getting to know me - my interests or my personality. From the moment I met him, I should have recognized that we really didn't communicate well at all but I was too focused on just creating a relationship. What I learned is that I need to completely trust God to bring someone into my life at the proper time. I also recognized my need to be with someone who is bright and passionate. Some of the qualities I admired in K were his balanced view of most things and his patience. I think I learned that God will allow me to be physically attracted to the person that he wants me to spend my life with because though you do fall out of love (if you want to call that first stage "love"), I do realise that it is important to look at your husband and be contented with his looks and feel comfortable with the visage that will face you for many years.
C also brought some lessons - namely the importance of humility in the person you are dating and will possibly marry. I got along with him well but had trouble getting over his love of the world and appearances. I think he was just too concerned with getting and doing things he thought he should be getting and doing at his age. And, he seemed to have these ridiculous ideas about what fun is (pub hopping? please).
Yes, this year has been about defining the man I want to marry and in doing so, I've cried a lot, I've struggled in my singleness a lot and I've questioned God's plan for my life. I am a silly, silly creature and I know that God has combined these certain characteristics and qualities in me for a reason but I do wonder how I will ever meet someone who is Romantic, loves to read, loves the Lord with all of his heart, understands poetry, wants to discuss theology, fascinates me with his insatiable need to learn and grow, wants to travel, is seeking a best friend and sees me as that person, loves art and music and culture, knows what fork is for what course, has a good grasp of basic science, is patient and willing to put up with my silliness, is thrifty and wants to be responsible with money, is fairly orderly, likes dogs rather than cats, LOVES the outdoors and can envision family trips camping or exploring the world, wants to have a family (a small family), is socially aware and knows when to speak and when to hold his tongue, understands, even though I might never say it, that I need him to love me unconditionally and that though I might seem independent and able to conquer almost any challenge, I must be able to come home to my true love and my safehold.
I have been extremely busy these last couple of months and I have had moments of longing to be in the presence of God - longing to be home in my room, reading his word and learning from Him. I have learned again and again, the value of the bible and I hope that this year my eyes will be opened even more to its precious revelation. I would like to be more consistent in my prayer life this year with an emphasis on praying for African Enterprise, DGM, and TBC. I want the Lord to grow in me a deep love for my brothers at Trinity. I'd like to try and make it to prayer meeting if I'm not scheduled at work. I'd like to take the course on Hebrews at TBS. In one sentence, I want to offer myself as a living sacrifice to my Lord and I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Oh that I might find the strength in God to put off tempting thoughts of how I'd be happier if I was this or that or here or there. I want to be content in Christ. I want to be able to say that no matter where my life goes, where I am headed, I am happy in the Lord and his love and his pleasure are my only concerns.
Highlights this year: the most recent - Handel's Messiah in Toronto, Colorado, the Calgary placement, my last day at Glencairn, getting a job at Eddie Bauer (an answer to prayer), Emma's birth and subsequent life thus far, the growth of my friendship with Jen and with Clare, the growth of my friendship with the Nickels, Sophie's birth, the times I got to spend with mom and Milly, the odd movie/TV nights with dad, the infection on my face (it taught me that my skin wasn't that bad before and I shouldn't have worried about it so much) and my half-marathon in Toronto.
I hope this post does serve as a record of lessons learned and loved. Now all I have to do is decide if I'll renew my subscription to The Walrus and renew my membership with the Conservative Party!
I really wanted to write a post at the end of December that was just a little bit of a glance back at the lessons of this year and a record of some of the memorable moments too.
One lesson I've had to learn most of this year is the lesson of when to "arouse or awaken love." I have wanted, for most of 2006, to find someone to spend my life with. I thought that, perhaps, I'd found that person earlier this year but K did not work out as planned - and I think that is the key word - planned. From the first moment, I decided that it was what I wanted and I really did not seek God's counsel or his will. The tricky thing was that K seemed to be someone God would want me to be with but I am very thankful that things did not work out. The first reason being that I realised that K was not interested in having a relationship or actually getting to know me - my interests or my personality. From the moment I met him, I should have recognized that we really didn't communicate well at all but I was too focused on just creating a relationship. What I learned is that I need to completely trust God to bring someone into my life at the proper time. I also recognized my need to be with someone who is bright and passionate. Some of the qualities I admired in K were his balanced view of most things and his patience. I think I learned that God will allow me to be physically attracted to the person that he wants me to spend my life with because though you do fall out of love (if you want to call that first stage "love"), I do realise that it is important to look at your husband and be contented with his looks and feel comfortable with the visage that will face you for many years.
C also brought some lessons - namely the importance of humility in the person you are dating and will possibly marry. I got along with him well but had trouble getting over his love of the world and appearances. I think he was just too concerned with getting and doing things he thought he should be getting and doing at his age. And, he seemed to have these ridiculous ideas about what fun is (pub hopping? please).
Yes, this year has been about defining the man I want to marry and in doing so, I've cried a lot, I've struggled in my singleness a lot and I've questioned God's plan for my life. I am a silly, silly creature and I know that God has combined these certain characteristics and qualities in me for a reason but I do wonder how I will ever meet someone who is Romantic, loves to read, loves the Lord with all of his heart, understands poetry, wants to discuss theology, fascinates me with his insatiable need to learn and grow, wants to travel, is seeking a best friend and sees me as that person, loves art and music and culture, knows what fork is for what course, has a good grasp of basic science, is patient and willing to put up with my silliness, is thrifty and wants to be responsible with money, is fairly orderly, likes dogs rather than cats, LOVES the outdoors and can envision family trips camping or exploring the world, wants to have a family (a small family), is socially aware and knows when to speak and when to hold his tongue, understands, even though I might never say it, that I need him to love me unconditionally and that though I might seem independent and able to conquer almost any challenge, I must be able to come home to my true love and my safehold.
I have been extremely busy these last couple of months and I have had moments of longing to be in the presence of God - longing to be home in my room, reading his word and learning from Him. I have learned again and again, the value of the bible and I hope that this year my eyes will be opened even more to its precious revelation. I would like to be more consistent in my prayer life this year with an emphasis on praying for African Enterprise, DGM, and TBC. I want the Lord to grow in me a deep love for my brothers at Trinity. I'd like to try and make it to prayer meeting if I'm not scheduled at work. I'd like to take the course on Hebrews at TBS. In one sentence, I want to offer myself as a living sacrifice to my Lord and I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Oh that I might find the strength in God to put off tempting thoughts of how I'd be happier if I was this or that or here or there. I want to be content in Christ. I want to be able to say that no matter where my life goes, where I am headed, I am happy in the Lord and his love and his pleasure are my only concerns.
Highlights this year: the most recent - Handel's Messiah in Toronto, Colorado, the Calgary placement, my last day at Glencairn, getting a job at Eddie Bauer (an answer to prayer), Emma's birth and subsequent life thus far, the growth of my friendship with Jen and with Clare, the growth of my friendship with the Nickels, Sophie's birth, the times I got to spend with mom and Milly, the odd movie/TV nights with dad, the infection on my face (it taught me that my skin wasn't that bad before and I shouldn't have worried about it so much) and my half-marathon in Toronto.
I hope this post does serve as a record of lessons learned and loved. Now all I have to do is decide if I'll renew my subscription to The Walrus and renew my membership with the Conservative Party!
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